Beyond Non-Violent Communication. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. Liar, Liar your pants are on fire!

Posted on 17 May 2022

Beyond Non-Violent Communication. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.  Liar, Liar your pants are on fire!    

Free Zoom Webinar - Thursday 26 May 7.00 – 8.30pm

Those of us of a certain age may remember the above quotes and similar from our days at school, even if we no longer remember much else of what we may have learned there or even want to!

These things were regarded at the time as being “state of the art” strategies for dealing with things like bullying, exclusion, and isolation.

In those days it was a bit of base Darwinism in that it was survival of the fittest rules OK, and you had to show that you weren’t sensitive, weak or vulnerable, because if you did then that could and would be preyed upon and punished and you could end up down at the bottom of the pecking order of things big time.

And if your peers didn’t punish you there was always the default position of your teachers being ready, willing and able to step into the breach and engage in a bit of corporal punishment just to ensure that you were painfully humiliated to the right degree and kept well and truly in your place.

Ah nostalgia – sadly, the past is no longer what it used to be!

Nowadays we have moved on massively in how we communicate in human relationships, (haven’t we?) and we have things like Non-Violent Communication (NVC) as tried and tested Templates for avoiding conflict when we need to have sometimes difficult conversations about relationships, needs, issues and difficulties.

We even have things like Non-Violent protests when we wish to make extremely important points in the public domain about issues that we passionately feel need addressing.  Gandhi for example used this to great effect in India to protest about British rule there, though he himself didn’t like the term Non-Violent Protest as he felt it made it seem like it was an alternative to Violent Protest which is not what he wanted it to be.

For when we say things like Non-Violent Communication, we are still using language that refers to violence – albeit the intended absence of it.

But words and how we use them matter.

For is Non-Violent Communication a bit like gluten free bread?  Is gluten free bread gluten free because it has had the gluten taken out of it or was it never put in there in the first place? I’m never quite sure which!

Words form links to ideas and ideas link to energy and ultimately action and whether we approach things either from a non-negative state of what you don’t want or from a positive mindset of what you do want massively affects both the approach and the likely outcome.

Using a non-negative approach can lead to potentially life changing questions like – who doesn’t not want an ice cream!  Or we could use a much simpler and more positive approach to ice cream which I will leave you to work out for yourself!

In this Webinar we shall be taking a practical, simple and experiential look at the incredible power of language, and how we can perhaps get above and beyond concepts like Non-Violent Communication and find effective and powerful Conscious, Constructive, Communication skills that can help us navigate through the challenges and opportunities that life and the multiple relationships we find ourselves in along the way successfully.

This Webinar forms part of a series on Sustainable Relationships and Resolving Conflict but it is not necessary to have attended any previous Webinars as they are designed as stand-alone events.

Facilitator: Tony Kearney

Tony grew up in New Zealand where he trained as a solicitor. He then worked as a solicitor in London for over 20 years before moving to Ireland in 2006 to further his work around building sustainable relations into the future. This includes planting a forest on the farm where he now lives and acting as a Mediator in workplace, community, schools, family, and commercial disputes. Tony is also a skilled facilitator and trainer and runs many training and other events and is the author of five books.

It is not necessary to have attended any of the previous Webinars to join the process as they are all designed as stand-alone events.

To register for this Webinar or find out more email Tony at: